Removing religious references may make readers and listeners more comfortable.
For example,
"I am platform agnostic."
becomes...
"I am platform neutral."
~~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't want to get into a religious argument about which CMS to invest in."
becomes...
"I am comfortable evaluating content management systems based on price and performance."
~~~~~~~~~~~
"I believe the highest quality is necessary to make video conferencing work for people."
becomes...
"In my opinion, high quality video is required to make video conferencing work."
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Survey says...
Requesting feedback may help create a more modest tone and offset the negative effect of pronouns.
For example,
"I would like to remove the rich media from the home page so it loads faster."
becomes...
"I would like to remove the rich media from the homepage so it loads faster. What do you think?"
For example,
"I would like to remove the rich media from the home page so it loads faster."
becomes...
"I would like to remove the rich media from the homepage so it loads faster. What do you think?"
A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.S.
Yes is More
"Yes" can show a willingness to collaborate without sacrificing resolve.
For example,
"No I cant put that 20MB flash file on the home page."
becomes...
"Yes, the large flash file can go on the home page, provided the team is comfortable with the very significant performance tradeoff."
"No we can't convert a complicated Flash application to AJAX on this schedule."
becomes...
"Yes the application can be converted to AJAX on this schedule, provided the team is comfortable eliminating certain features and browser support."
For example,
"No I cant put that 20MB flash file on the home page."
becomes...
"Yes, the large flash file can go on the home page, provided the team is comfortable with the very significant performance tradeoff."
"No we can't convert a complicated Flash application to AJAX on this schedule."
becomes...
"Yes the application can be converted to AJAX on this schedule, provided the team is comfortable eliminating certain features and browser support."
Quid Quo Pronoun
Eliminating personal pronouns like "I," "you," "he/she" and "we" may lighten the tone. This is particularly true when there is no request for feedback.
For example,
"we are recommending that you move off of the Sonic25 platform..."
becomes...
"moving off the Sonic25 platform is recommended..."
----------------------------------------------
"I examined your infrastructure..."
becomes...
"After a review of the infrastructure..."
----------------------------------------------
"You should add more servers for peak loads..."
becomes...
"In our experience, adding additional servers will minimize the effects of peak loads..."
For example,
"we are recommending that you move off of the Sonic25 platform..."
becomes...
"moving off the Sonic25 platform is recommended..."
----------------------------------------------
"I examined your infrastructure..."
becomes...
"After a review of the infrastructure..."
----------------------------------------------
"You should add more servers for peak loads..."
becomes...
"In our experience, adding additional servers will minimize the effects of peak loads..."
The Difference is Opinion
Friday, October 26, 2007
Discuss, No Further
Written correspondence (especially email) is sometimes a poor substitute for in-person discussions; "discuss further" is an artful phrase only if prior discussion has actually occurred.
"I am allocating a member of your team to another project, please let me know if you would like to discuss further."
becomes...
"I have an allocation idea and would look forward to scheduling a convenient time to discuss over the phone or in person."
"I am allocating a member of your team to another project, please let me know if you would like to discuss further."
becomes...
"I have an allocation idea and would look forward to scheduling a convenient time to discuss over the phone or in person."
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